Defund the police ??? DUMB ASSES !!!
Defund the police? How would that work out?
911: 911, how can I help you?
Citizen: There's two armed men trying to break into my home!
911: Oh, wow. That's really a bummer. Do you have a gun?
Citizen: No. I don't.
911: Uh-oh. That's really bad.
Citizen: Can you just send some police?
911: No, we can't do that. After defunding the officers we are down to only one officer on Tuesday and Thursdays from noon to 3, but he only does paperwork.
'Plus, it's Friday.
Citizen: What am I supposed to do? They are almost in!
911: Well, you should have seen a flyer posted on the telephone poles in your neighborhood.
Citizen: I didn't see them. What do they say?
911: We've gone to "community relations oversight."
Citizen: Instead of the police?
911: Yes.
Citizen: Well what am I supposed to do?
911: I will check out the closest community relations advocate. Hold please.
[MUZAK version of F@$& the Police plays for three minutes]
911: Okay, sorry about the wait. It seems as though the closest community relations advocate is just 3 blocks down. I will send her over. Her name is Ethel Jones. I met her in our training. She's amazing. It may take her a bit though since she's 82, doesn't drive, and uses a walker to get around.
Citizen: What the heck? John Legend and Jane Fonda told me we should defund the police but I didn't know it meant that I would be in danger!
911: Well, if anyone can talk them out of killing you and robbing your home, it's Ethel.
[GUNSHOTS in the background]
911: Hello? Hello? Hello?
