I needed firewood, so I loaded my chainsaw, shotgun and a bologna sandwich and headed for the woods. I have been carrying the shotgun ever since I found out there are Russians behind every tree, waiting to steal my vote. Russian vote stealing is illegal, only Americans can steal my vote

I 'm glad I did not see any Russians, I'd hate to shoot a Russian and find out later it was just a Green Deal liberal carrying money to people who refuse to work. On the way home, I stopped at Walmart, to pick up some crackers and sardines and I ran into a used to be friend Richie. Two years ago he blew a fuse when he found out I voted for Trump.
Right away Ritchie blew a gasket and started ranting about how Trump should be impeached, hanged and shot. I allowed him to rave for awhile, Then I asked for proof that Trump was a crook. He looked at me like I had asked that he go to the moon and bring back a Billy goat. Finally he admitted he did not know anything for sure. He was just repeating what the hate Trump press had said.
Right them I felt sorry for Ritchie, so I sat him down in the tire and lube dept. I explained that no one in their right mind would believe anything they hear on the MSM. Those folks can look straight into the camera and tell us Donald Trump and Adolph Hitler are brothers and Trump has sold California to the Russians for $500 and a can of pork and beans
Long story short, Ritchie followed me home, helped stack the firewood, stayed for supper. Before he left he promised to stop watching CNN, start wearing a MAGA hat and donate $100 to Trump's 2020 election campaign, and I promised I would not shoot any Russians.
Life is good!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Reprinted from a local news opinion page,