Losing a dog is like losing any other beloved family member. It’s incredibly difficult to know what to say when a friend or loved one is mourning the death of their dog, so it’s often best to begin by acknowledging the loss and expressing your sympathy for the family.

Be there and listen

"People just don't understand about losing a dog," says Sherry Hughes, author of The Loss of a Pet. "If you try to relate it to losing a person, they're going to say 'Oh, he was just an animal.' The grieving person knows that. They know they're not supposed to feel this much pain."

Well-meaning friends may try and comfort you by minimizing your loss with statements like "He was just a dog". Although the loss of a beloved pet may seem trivial in comparison to the loss of family member or friend, the death can be equally painful for some people. Acknowledging how deeply you cared about your pet is important for healing and moving forward with life.

Be there and listen You don't need to be an expert at dealing with grief in order to help a friend cope with the loss of her dog. Your most valuable asset is simply being there for her – someone she can talk to who will care enough not only to listen but also empathize with what she's feeling.

Give them space

Respect that the grieving process takes time. Grief is a long and painful process, so be patient with your friend as they work through their emotions. If they need to be alone or if they want to talk about their dog to anyone who will listen, let them do that.

Let them know you are there for them when they are ready. If your friend is not immediately open to discussing their loss, don't push it; try instead to show you care in other ways.

Don't take it personally if they need time alone. Everyone needs space from grief at times, even from friends and family who have come to help them through it. As hard as it may be, accept that sometimes people need a break from talking about their loss and reassure them you are always available when they're ready.

Allow them to grieve in their own way. The only thing worse than having someone ignore your pain is having someone tell you how you should feel or how you should cope with your feelings. Instead of trying to force any particular outcome on your friend during this difficult time as he or she navigates the ups and downs of dealing with the loss of his/her dog, simply offer support without judgment or expectations of how he/she should respond at any given moment.

Send flowers

You can easily send flowers to your friend without having to leave the house. You can deliver them directly to their home or even have them sent straight to the veterinarian or crematorium. Sympathy flowers can be delivered in a vase by a florist, which means they are arranged and ready for display right out of the box. There are also sprays and wreaths that can be sent directly to the cremation service if your pet was cremated or its burial site.

When it comes time to select the perfect sympathy flower arrangement, there are many options available that aren't as clichéd as sending roses. Red carnations are appropriate for any occasion, and white carnations specifically mean remembrance. White lilies symbolize purity and virtue, making them the perfect choice for an innocent pet's memorial service. Sending yellow flowers signifies friendship, so this would make an excellent option for remembering your friend’s childhood dog who meant so much more than just man’s best friend.

Offer a meal, but check in first

Dinner is always a good idea, especially since a grieving person may not have the energy to cook. The most impactful thing you can do here is make sure that the meal you offer will actually be helpful. Ask if your friend has any dietary restrictions or preferences, and have your friend confirm whether he or she wants food at all. Then, don't show up with an elaborate feast unless your friend explicitly asked you to. If you want to show up with extra help (like a partner or another friend), ask first; some people would prefer to grieve alone at this stage rather than being around company. After preparing the meal, bring it over and drop it off in their fridge with a note saying "Call me anytime." Be respectful of their boundaries and let them know that they can reach out when they're ready.

Send a card or condolence letter

There are several ways to send your condolences. You can write a card, send flowers or make a donation in your friend's dog’s honor. Sending a card is the most common option. In that case, you need to focus on what you want to say and how to present it. Here's how:

When should I send a condolence letter?
What should I say?
Who should I address my friend as?
How do I sign off?
How do I send the letter?

Acknowledge the loss

While it may seem like your friend is overreacting, know that the pain they are feeling is real. The death of a dog impacts our lives as much as losing any other member of the family. It's normal to grieve for a pet, and important for us to recognize that. Try saying something along these lines: "I know this loss is affecting you so deeply, and I am here for you." Or just say: "I'm sorry." Keep in mind that your friend will continue to feel extreme sadness following their loss, so it's OK if they aren't willing have a conversation right away.