It's Friday night, your friends invite you to party, and in most scenarios, you'd say "yes." But not this time. It feels fickle, make-believe, something you don't crave. But, oh, to describe what you do crave. You want something real, to be seen and treated the way you deserve. But you can't really tell your desires to your friends because the source of your satisfaction can only stem from a name that's forbidden to say.
The so-called "red flag" looks like a green light to drive your way toward bliss. You need a blast from the past. And one night of impulses later, you contemplate the best part of the relationship that you keep returning to.
People often like to go back to their ex for intimacy, but why is this so?
Emotional Reasons
Say you have completely moved on from your ex, building a life without them. You may have been able to forget the fights, the ugliness of what made you leave. But what sticks are the moments of pure joy, what they made you feel. The fact that you fell for them testifies to your approval of them. For women, mainly, sex isn't just physical; it's emotional. They crave a real connection, where their heart is stimulated rather than their body. You may sleep around with multiple partners, but they who make you feel emotionally secure are the ones you will keep coming back to.
Habits
When you have a history in bed with a single partner, they get to know your mannerisms, your habits, what gives you pleasure, and you know theirs. It's like secrets that are well kept, unsaid, but acted upon when needed. Sex is most potent when it is devoid of expectation and the anxiety of pleasing; instead, it is about showing affection, not in your language, but the one your partner understands.
Lack of Closure
Another reason you or someone you know might keep coming back to your ex may be because the feelings aren't gone entirely. Love is such a feeling that doesn't stop with the flick of a switch. It is easy to fall rather than to fall out. When you are with an individual, you become a part of each other. And when they suddenly leave your life, the yearning lingers on. Perhaps the reason why you picked up the phone wasn't a "dumb" decision but a hollow space in your heart that craves to be filled.
In the case of Vantessa from Bristol Wedgewood's book Confessions of a Cyber Girl: Volume 4, the intrepid cyber girl encounters her blast from the past, It is NOT love. It is something else. "Bad Boy Adam rekindles a smoldering ember deep inside Vantessa. Caught in a moment of weakness, she acquiesces to his cleverly timed advances. She cannot say no!"
Confessions of a Cyber Girl: Volume 4 is now available on Amazon.
