If you really want to win in life, obey Jesus Christ and His Word. You can read and nothing your pastor says will excuse you from disobeying Jesus' words wilfully and persistently. Please start reading and taking notes on what you are supposed to be doing if you want to be an actual disciple of Jesus Christ of the going-to-heaven variety. Matthew 28:18-20; John 13:34,35; John 14:12,21,23.