A Journey of a Thousand Miles begins with a Single Step
Terri Mielitz MA Ed. LSWA
I have no idea where I heard that but it stuck with me. As we journey through our lives every step makes us who we become. Think about all the steps your journey has taken you on. I know mine has pushed me up mountains that almost stopped me, but with persistence and faith eventually led me in to valleys of plentiful.
Life is a journey of good and bad, stagnant at times and at times full of change. When I look at my own life story, I often wonder how I made it, how did I survive and thrive. Life is so full of twists and turns at times one can feel defeated and in a perpetual state of anxiety. Then a new day pops over the horizon and all is well. Something happens to shift our mind or offers us an exciting opportunity for the future. Hope returns and we move forward with excitement and anticipation.
Our journey begins at conception. Even in our mother’s womb we are processing information and learning about the world we will come into. We can feel our mother’s emotions through chemicals that pass through her body into ours. If the mother is stressed the fetus may feel the release of endorphins and serotonin for calming. A mother that is abused may release large amounts of a cortisol, norepinephrine or adrenaline into her system which are largely responsible for the immediate reactions we feel in stressful situations or when fearful.
Imagine if you will a fetus receiving daily loads of the fight or flight responses from the body of the mother such as high doses of cortisol instead of the “feel good” natural responses of endorphins and serotonin. Studies show an increase in ADHD, ADD in children that do not learn to regulate their emotions, thoughts or behaviors.
This has become a phenomenon in the world. Researchers are working to see why there is an increase in disorders in children. I would argue it does not take a scientist. In the last 50 years we have seen the role of wives and mothers change. Woman have gone to work full-time and still maintain the home and family. Their stress has increased. Which to me accounts for the changes in our children. Child abuse and neglect is on the rise. We are a society of things. We work for the new car, new house and new this and that. Some leave their children behind. Have we forgotten their value? Our children do not need things from us. They need our time and love. They need consistency and discipline.
I do not argue mothers working or blame mothers. Life is life and I love my work. I am just bringing to the forefront that these changes have had an effect on our population over our lifetime and beyond. We need to be more aware of how are busy lives can leave our children feeling alone, leaving them in the hands of gaming, computers and social media. Where are our priorities.
Imagine a jar, some large rocks, pebbles and sand. The rocks represent the important things in life. Our family, spouses, lovers, parents, children, siblings and other loved one. The pebbles represent things that are important but should have limits on our time. Our jobs, mowing the yard, cleaning and such. These things have a shelf life. Limited. The sand is the things that we could do without our phones, gaming, and lounging on the couch, drinking, addictions all can consume value time meant for the rocks.
I want you to envision if we fill our jar with the sand first, then the pebbles, then the rocks. If we put the small things in life first the important things like the rocks will not fit into that jar. But if we put the important things into that jar first all the rocks will fit. Then we pour the pebbles in and they will fill in the cracks around those rocks. Add in that sand and shake that jar up a little to adjust and all the sand will fit also. It is a matter of priority, time and adjustment. Our lives reflect what we value. If we value money and things, we will have a life that looks good on the outside but in the home, we have broken relationships because we do not value time with each other. Do not get me wrong there are people who have great success financially and are still healthy families. But if you spend all day playing video games you are neglecting the things that matter and it will show up in your relationships.
Stay on your journey, travel those mountains with a smile because there is a valley coming up that will be plentiful and bring joy to your life if you just let it. Put the rocks first and the sand last so you can have a jar of plenty.
Happy, healthy relationships matter.
Keep traveling!
