Narcissism: Toddlers In Grown-Up Clothes, Half-formed or Malformed Selves, Trying To Survive In An Adult Body In An Adult World........
As babies, toddlers, and preschoolers, early grade schoolers, it is normal and healthy to be somewhat narcissistic, egocentric, needy, selfish.....When the person is allowed that time to be immature, be loved for being who they are in that particular and vital developmental stage, with a reasonably steady stream of affection and attention needs being met, the person is more-often-than-not, ready to develop further, graduate from self-focus, move on from me to you to us....When needs of this developmental stage are unmet, the person stays at an infant, toddler or early gradeschool level...unable to move forward in development, unprepared for the stages ahead of them, unable to meet the demands that maturation makes upon everyone. Mood or thought disorders can exacerbate the condition, and make diagnosis even more difficult and elusive. So the person walks about in an adult body, in an adult environment that is full of others who have actually passed through many of the milestones of adulthood, and it is then that the person's lack of inward growth and development eventually becomes blatantly obvious, since trouble finds them everywhere. They cannot truly cope, deal with life as it is, but are limping, fractured, empty, malformed, alone inside, unable to feel with or for others, their own worst enemy. It becomes most evident in their relationships, especially the closer ones. Often, but not always, fast, fake, flattering, fickle, flighty, furious and fleeting. Anything but real and lasting. They cannot experience the joys of intimacy. They are disordered in attachment, and cannot bond, trust, be authentic, original, sincere or consistent. They have chosen, in their often traumatic early lives, "image" over substance, and a false image, at that. Lies over truth. Delusion over reality. Control over Love. Revenge when there is no need, paranoia when no one cares. A legend in their own mind. Bent on resisting help, adept at using others, refusing the Truth of the Creator of the Universe. Despising real Love, and returning it with cruel hatred. Sadly, the meaner they get, and the longer they refuse to embrace the painful condition that they are in and often leave others in, the narrower the road will get for a better outcome. Bridges are burned. Onto the next person, then the next, only to smear their reputation, tear them to pieces, just like before....But, still, despite mounting evidence to the contrary, believing that it's someone else's fault: The biggest self-induced lie of all. Self-deception is the hardest cult to deprogram and reprogram. BE-WARE and BE-WARY of people that are chronic victims, rarely give but often take, always have a pitiful story full of abuse, betrayal, martyrdom, persecution, being wronged "for no reason" and that regularly blame others, who tend to outright lie, exaggerate or conveniently omit or minimize their contribution to a situation, and aren't taking steps toward wholeness. Adult egocentricity is dangerous, especially as saints, since the Truth tells us we are not God, are not worthy of worship, are not the center of the Universe, are created beings, and exist along with countless others. Unbearable realities, anti and opposing everything they've grasped onto desperately to survive as a narcissistic personality.
