A few months after my divorce, my mother asked me who my cars and truck insurance company was. I just took a look at her blankly. I didn't have car insurance, I had not got an MOT on my automobile - I later on understood I didn't have home insurance either. None of it had actually crossed my mind. I was extraordinarily lucky absolutely nothing went incorrect.

At the age of 57 I had not paid a family bill or had any deal with on my finances considering that I had wed nearly 30 years earlier. Now divorced, I didn't have a hint where to start.

Rob and I married on my 30th birthday - I desired to get wed before I turned 30. We had 4 kids - my stepson and 3 children of our own. All of that time, Rob managed our money and I didn't question it.

I just put my revenues in our shared account and that was that.

I kick myself now for being stupid and ignorant. But my papa had looked after my mum and Rob looked after me. It seemed like a sort of safeguard for me.

I had a full-on job in the travel industry, then establishing a complementary health centre and as a yoga instructor - and to be sincere the family finances never interested me.

Balancing the books: When Fenella Lindsell was married, household finances never interested her

Every so typically I would ask him: 'How are our financial resources?' but it would typically be late during the night and he 'd respond: 'Why are you speaking about this now?'. I 'd state simply since I was a bit anxious, however then I 'd wake up the next early morning and not believe about it again.

We never defaulted on payments and weren't having anybody knocking on the door. But he was not always totally trustworthy - that could be very difficult.

My earliest son certainly had a little bit of a chequered education due to the fact that we kept lacking cash and so we needed to move him to other schools. But he's done fine - they're all OK.

Then throughout Covid we were in lockdowns and couldn't be out and about doing our thing. And if relationships are already not working as they should, they become even more fractious and hard in those conditions. It damaged a lot and not long after we separated.

Once our finances were divided I had to find out to do things for myself. I didn't even understand what that meant. I've constantly been useless at maths - when I sat down to do my maths O-Level, I walked into the examination, wrote my name at the top of the page, drew a triangle and left because I didn't know it or wish to do it.

So I was horrified at the idea of arranging my finances.

Around that time at a yoga retreat in Greece, I was talking to a charming fellow and confided in him that I truly missed my daddy since he would have known how to help me. And he told me about his financial advisor, Louisa, who was proficient at discussing and talking you through things.

So I constructed up the guts to see her. And to my surprise I instantly felt safe with her - I might pick up that she understood how to talk with people like me who are a bit rudderless and ineffective on finances. Strangely, the thing I was most terrified of was seeming like a fool. It makes you feel so susceptible.

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She helped me to set up an Isa and discussed that I need to move my allowance of ₤ 20,000 from my cost savings into my Isa every year to protect it from tax.

Louisa likewise assisted me find a pension that was begun for me when I was working for a hotel group at age 27. You do not think of them at the time, but even little amounts can be worth something meaningful years later on if they've been invested.

She talked me through how threat works and worked out how to invest my pension in a manner that indicates it is growing however doesn't keep me up at night worrying about it.

My self-confidence has grown and I know how to read the regular statements I'm sent out about my pension. I try to find the balance and just how much it has actually grown - by 14 percent in 2015 - however I also understand that often it can fall and not to worry about it.

The 600,000 house owners informed their hot water might stop working - unless they switch to a wise meter

I also understand how to get assist when I require it - I 'd rather stab myself than do my tax return, however although my accountant does it I understand how to inspect my capital - my incomings and outgoings.

Now that I've got my ducks in a row - I understand who my insurance is with, where my mortgage is for my home in south London, how my pension is growing - I feel a lot lighter. I still would rather play tennis than look at spreadsheets, however I now know how to do it.

I 'd advise anybody who leaves the finances to their partner to share the duty - I want I had. You never understand what is around the corner - divorce or worse.

My mother was also left in the exact same position as me when my daddy died, due to the fact that he always looked after their finances and she had not found out how to do it. Make certain your checking account and financial investments remain in both of your names so that you both get the declarations and see what you have.

Even if there are home costs that your partner pays, make sure you know what they are so you would understand what to do if you had to take over the duty.

When you're wed to someone you share bringing up your kids, you share cooking, you share your bed, you share your life - you must share your financial resources. I think it's part of your commitment to one another.

So share the load, have an open mind and want to find out. Even if your husband or other half is excellent at handling the money, do not feel daunted to ask: should not this be a shared responsibility?