Trying to create a "Friends with Benefits" relationship with God

Turning to Jesus when times are tough is understandable but doing that with no desire for any long term commitment to Him is trying to create a "Friends With Benefits" relationship. Jesus is looking for a virgin bride.

A good explanation of friends with benefits would be; the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. 

I have heard people say they just care about not going to hell.  They believe Jesus existed to pay for their sins but they have no desire to pursue a close relationship with God.  They look at God only as fire insurance.  It’s like marrying someone just for their money or status.  They don’t care about the person but only what the person can provide for them. 

Some people are Christian in name only because God never fully had their heart.  Believing Jesus exists by itself does not bring about salvation.  We can see this clearly in James 2:19, You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.  The problem was the demons did not love God or serve Him.

Matthew 7:21-23, Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the WILL of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. Good works will not gain you access to heaven.  These people are calling Jesus Lord and Jesus is saying He never knew them. They have filled their head with the knowledge of God but lack a relationship with him.  Most likely these people are working for the praises of man but not with a heart yearning to please God.  Jesus addresses these types of works in Matthew 6 if you want to read about it.

Most of us know who Prince William is.  If we are old enough we saw him grow up.  We saw him get married and have children.  We may feel like we know him but without one on one time spent with him, we really don’t know him. We can know all about his life and family but if you knock on his door and ask to move into the palace he will say no because he has no personal relationship with you.  If God does not know you, he will not let you move in with Him either.

Luke 13:23-27, And someone said to him, “Lord, will those who are saved be few?” And he said to them, 24“Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able.  25When once the master of the house has risen and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, ‘Lord, open to us,’ then he will answer you, ‘I do not know where you come from.’ 26Then you will begin to say, ‘We ate and drank in your presence, and you taught in our streets.’ 27But he will say, ‘I tell you, I do not know where you come from. Depart from me, all you workers of evil!’

The Bible is a love story.  Love stories usually start with trying to get someone to notice you.  God tries to get you to notice Him through his creation.  Psalm 19:1, The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.  As Evangelist Ray Comfort says when you look at a painting you know there is a painter.  When you look at a building, you know there is a builder. Buildings don’t build themselves and paintings don’t paint themselves.  If you know an image of a person is not by accident you should know that the actual physical person is so much more complex. When you have a chance Google the complexity of the human eye?  It really is amazing and that is only one small part of our bodies.

If the earth orbited the sun a little faster or slower it would not be able to sustain life.  If the axis of the earth was a little different it would be detrimental to life.  When we look at a sunset, the stars or the earth from space it takes your breath away.  It’s not a coincidence that we have air to breath, food to eat and water to drink.  When we look at flowers, puppies and newborns we know deep down that all of these beautiful and miraculous things were not by chance. 

Romans 1:19-20, For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

God is making Himself known.  During our time on earth we experience some of the benefits of God courting us.

James 1:17, Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights. 

Matthew 5:45, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

Jesus is looking to be in a committed relationship.  He is not looking to date long term or have a friend’s with benefits relationship.  He is looking for a virgin bride.  

2 Corinthians 11:2, For, I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. 

You don’t need to be a literal virgin.  You need to be committed to Jesus with no other lovers.  That means having no other god’s before Him.  See my article on Modern Day Idolatry.

The original Greek word used for Virgin is hagnos.  The definition is  -  innocent, modest, perfect: - chaste, clean, pure.

The way we become innocent and pure is to ask Jesus to cleanse us of our sins.  When we are innocent (forgiven for our sins) and have no other lovers (gods) before Him then we become that virgin bride. 

We are Jesus’ true love.  He is willing to sacrifice everything for us.  True love is never forced but it is freely given.  He freely gave and is looking for the same in return. 

When a gentleman has his heart broken due to rejection he will still respect that person’s final decision and will not harass them or force himself on her, if he truly cared about her feelings.  When a suitor is rejected he will leave.  When he leaves the essence of him will also leave, this includes his personality, his love, and all that he owns.  It is all of him or none of him.  There is no option for saying I want some parts of you but not others.  There are no friends with benefits with God!  The decision becomes final at a person’s death.  God is a gentleman and will never force himself on someone who has turned him down. 

Bill Wiese put together a list of God’s qualities, so you can see what you will miss out on, when you turn away from his love and enter a place without him called hell. 

Bill Wiese wrote the book 23 Minutes in Hell.  This is a great book that I highly recommend.  The book is filled with scripture.  Whether you believe his story or not, you can’t deny all the scriptures that are in there.

Bill Wiese made a video about his experience.  You can search it up on YouTube under the title Bill Wiese (Man Who Went To Hell) - 23 Minutes in Hell.  It’s the one that is an hour and 3 minutes long.  Here is a link to it.  Bill Wiese (Man Who Went To Hell) - 23 Minutes in Hell

Check out his main YouTube channel because he has great content. Bill Wiese


Here is the list he wrote. 

Hell is dark because God is light. 1 John 1:5

Hell is death because God is life.  John 1:4

Hell is hatred because God is Love.  1 John 4:16

Hell has no mercy because mercy of the Lord is in the heavens.  Psalm 36:5

Hell is only weakness because the Lord is the giver of strength.  Psalm 18:32

Hell has no water because water is the rain of heaven.  Deuteronomy 11:11  

Hell has no peace because Christ is the prince of peace.  Isaiah 9:6


It’s hard to imagine a place without any water, peace, light, strength, mercy, love.  It is void of all things that pertain to life because hell is death, spiritually and physically.  There are times we may temporarily lack some of these things on earth and we are always able to hope for change.  Even on a bad day we can flip on the light, get a glass of water, and lay down peacefully in bed but in hell there is no hope of ever getting these things because God is gone. 

Galatians 5:23, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  When His Spirit is Gone, the essence of love and mercy is gone.  You have officially rejected all that is Him.

Earth is the closest some people will ever get to heaven, and for others earth is the closest some people will ever get to hell. 

Hell is much worse than you think because God who is the essence of love is not there.  Take a few minutes and really think about where God is in your life.  There are a lot of people who only think about God on holidays or when something goes wrong in their life.  This is rejection of Him.  Have you really committed your life to God, because calling on him only when you are in need is trying to create a friends with benefits relationship.  He is looking for a bride who will truly love him for who he is.  A bride who cares about how he feels and how she can please him.  This is a relationship that ends in a marriage where the bride is loved and blessed with everything her husband has.

When you know how much God loves you it is really hard not to love him back.  The devil has blinded people’s eyes and has convinced them God is a God of hate.  This is so far from the truth.  The devil is the one who is out to destroy the lives of people.  Jesus said in John 10:10, The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

The devil likes to cause havoc and then point the finger at God.  The enemy is the one saying God is giving you this sickness to make you a stronger person.  God needed one more angel in heaven.  This is a lie because people can never become an angel and God would rather you be on earth spreading the gospel of salvation than sick in bed or dead.  God did not kill your loved one.  God is not beating up his bride before he marries her.  A beat up bride does not give God any glory or attract one soul to the kingdom.  It is all the devil’s doing.  God is a life giver.  Jesus went around healing all that were oppressed of the devil (Acts 10:38).  Jesus has come to give you life and life more abundantly (John 10:10).

When you reach out and get to know who God really is, you will fall in love with him.  Give Him a chance.  Reach out your hands to God so he can show you who he is.


How do I develop a loving relationship?

How do you develop a loving relationship and find out if you want to spend your life with someone?  A relationship starts out by getting to know someone?  You start talking to them on a regular basis.  You share your feelings, like your dreams and fears with them.  You develop trust between each other.  You do nice things for each other.  You care about that person and how they feel.

The world has rejected God and is currently in full blown rebellion.  Don’t give into peer pressure and accept what the world now calls good.  Isaiah 5:20, Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness. 

God wants to give you all of Him and not parts of Him, just like God wants all of you and not parts of you.  He wants to be in a committed relationship with you, and he will love you with everything He is.  Think about this before you turn him down for eternity.


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