My cousin, Sarah has chosen to name me her Maid of Honor (MOH). She’s been referring to her wedding since I was a kid and just how I’d continually be her MOH. We were raised as sisters instead of cousins. I love her and value her unconditionally. We also survive opposite sides of the nation. She’s thinking about having the wedding in my city.

Here’s the issue: Sarah and my entire family were working on the opinion that I’d plan her entire wedding, mind I’m not really a wedding planner by trade nor do I enjoy planning events. I know I’ve been the rock for my loved ones and dependable, but I’ve been pretty malleable lately. I invited her to think about hiring a wedding coordinator as she had no intentions of planning her wedding. I thought we compromised together with her hiring one, and I’d use them alongside her mom during my city to obtain all the face-to-face elements completed to save her trips. For context why I recommended a wedding coordinator, at that time she didn’t possess a vision, from the number of guests, ceremony, and placement (church, banquet halls, lakeside, visit court, etc.).

We are actually 6 months from her selected date for the wedding. There’s no wedding coordinator and no location. I decided to verify if there even will be a marriage. She replied that they believe I can plan the marriage and if we’re falling behind that’s because I’m allowing it to happen since she’s not versed within the timelines of planning a marriage. I told her each time we talk it’s a never-ending cycle of “I don’t know,” and I’m having to take a test where I’m being punished for my understanding of wedding dress lead times and securing a post-pandemic wedding venue (I’ve watched Say Yes towards the Dress and been a bridesmaid five different times). I’m balancing being assertive and showing some compassion, however in terms of where I’m at during my life, I’ve begun to set boundaries with regard to my health insurance and mental wellbeing.

She chose to add new bridesmaids to the mix, and I’m being texted by them 1 by 1 about gifts and wedding venue options, and dress designs. I’ve been replying to every one of them saying let’s speak with Sarah. I’m exhausted and don’t wish to plan the whole wedding. But I also don’t wish to burn bridges. Any tips about how so I can allow it to all stop maid of honor dresses?