Sexting has become a popular way for couples to spice up their relationship or for people to engage in sexual activity without actually having sex. But does sexting lead to affairs?

In the last few years, a number of studies have been published which have tried to answer this question. A recent one from the University of Texas at Austin looked at 1,200 college students and found that students who sent a sext were more likely to cheat on their spouses than those who did not. Another study done by researchers at Stanford University found that when participants were asked to send a sexually explicit image, 39% would send an image which made them look as if they were having an affair while only 3% would send images which made no attempt to imply an affair (maybe because they already know you’re married?).

These studies are interesting because they highlight some of the methodological issues for research on sexting. The Stanford study was done in a lab where participants had one minute to send an image or wait for their turn and were not given any feedback about what they had sent. Afterward, participants could see what others had sent (or not sent) and could choose whether or not to continue on with their experiment. This is known as “double-blind” testing.

The researchers also used this method in order to control for differences between men and women; men sent higher numbers of images (and thus were more likely to be viewed as having affairs), but women sent higher numbers of images that made no attempt to suggest an affair (and thus were less likely to be viewed as having affairs). This meant that there was no “gender bias” — women are more likely than men to send sexually explicit images — so these differences made sense in terms of gender stereotypes too.

All this means is that we don’t know if sexting leads people away from relationships or just makes relationships stronger; we don’t have enough data on this question yet so we can only speculate based on what we do know: most people tend towards monogamous relationships so it seems plausible that sexting leads people away from them; we do know some people who cheat though so maybe it makes them feel good about themselves and are therefore less likely to cheat; at least once in our own lives, most of us have been told by someone else about someone else being unfaithful; etc etc…

So before we get into the actual research itself, let's just look at

What are the risks of sexting?

“Sexting” is a term thrown around often in the media and the internet. It may sound sexy, but it’s not referring to anything meaningful (at least not yet). In fact, I suspect it is far more often used to mean “cheating wife” than “sexting.” This post aims to explain why.

I don’t know whether it is a coincidence or not, but I find that whenever I write about sexting, people start talking about cheating spouses (e.g., here, this).

The reason for this connection is that cheating spouses are what we all have in mind when we hear the term “sexting.” It usually only takes one incident of sexting for us to think of them as a single entity (which is why we almost always refer to her as “the cheating wife”). But much of what happens with sexting has nothing to do with cheating spouses; it actually involves couples who are simply having fun doing things they shouldn’t do together.

So what are these people doing? There are lots of scenarios where you might want them to do something — like sharing photos of themselves on social media — but instead they just want to look at pictures of each other without any intention of doing anything else with them besides looking at them (and sometimes even that just means showing off how well they look in photos). They might also want an explicit photo because they don’t want their significant other reading the text, and so they send a photo where something explicit will be shown in order to make sure the person reading gets that message. It doesn’t mean she cheated on him; it means he didn’t expect her to share photos with him, and he was confused by her desire instead of his own desire.

These people don’t seem at all interested in having sex or having affairs; nor do most people who engage in sexting seem interested in those activities — especially when you dig into their behavior and get deeper into their actions than just pornography sharing websites/apps or social media apps/sites allows you to go. So why would anyone want to cheat on their partner? That makes no sense! But when you see some couples who are deeply involved in this behavior, it becomes clear that there is some sort of purpose behind the behavior:

It seems like a lot of people who engage in.

Does sexting lead to affairs?

I’ve recently had the chance to read up on a new book on cheating spouses, a book called “The Cheating Wife: A New Approach to Understanding and Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Relationships.” The author, Catherine Lovell, is a highly respected researcher in the field of abusive relationships and has put together two recent reports on the subject.

There is much of interest in this area. We can say that tinder is not the only app that leads to affairs (although its reputation is more toxic than most). Tinder leads to affairs because it creates a transactional relationship between two daters: if one person finds someone else attractive and decides to swipe right (and thus get matched with them), they are doing so because they are attracted to that person.

In contrast, Facebook doesn’t create such an intimate and transactional relationship between daters. It’s not just that it’s harder for people to tell who their true friends are; it’s also that it creates an anonymous environment where you can post anything you want about anyone you want. You don’t have to worry about whether your post will be seen by others or not; you can go as far as saying anything you like about another person without revealing who or what you are talking about, who you think they may be, or even how many times your post was viewed by others.

Because Facebook doesn’t lead people into intimate relationships — no one posts photos of themselves when they don’t know anyone — it doesn’t lead people into affairs either (with only minor exceptions).

But some people still do find themselves in these situations — even if there is no specific reason for them to do so; even if their romantic partner isn't involved with anyone else at the time; even if they aren't dating anyone else at all; even if they aren't sleeping together (or sleeping with anyone else).