1. Preliminary stage "Capacity building."

At this stage, future lovers only look at each other and only think about the possibility of a romance, therefore is flirting cheating. They feel rapprochement, tremble and nervous, tormented and worried. They want to be with each other more and find more and more reasons to communicate.

The closer people get, the steeper the arc bends, and the more potential accumulates.

The duration of this stage is deeply individual. It's even hard to set deadlines. Someone has two seconds. Someone has twenty years. Therefore, no deadlines.

2. The initial stage is "Fireworks and butterflies in the stomach."

The arc of tension cannot hold on forever. At some point, it "bursts." The steeper the angle, the stronger the "burst." Fireworks begin, a flood of feelings, crazy sex, butterflies in the stomach, and the sky is in diamonds.

This is the same stormy candy-bouquet period as in other respects. Hormones are running high. The world is beautiful. Guilt is temporarily buried under the previously mentioned hormones.

The duration of the stage is approximately three months.

3. Inertial stage "Recession of heat."

Since the hormonal storm cannot last forever, after a while, dormancy begins. The meetings are still beautiful, and the butterflies are in place, but the former passion is no longer felt. Together just fine, but no more. If before the feeling of guilt was absent, now it can manifest itself.

The duration of the stage is approximately a month.

4. Stage of tension "Let's be determined!"

Since the potential of the arc of tension has already been exhausted in many respects, the intensity of passion is already noticeably subsiding. Moreover, the calming down of the storm of hormones allows you to turn on the brain. And that brain starts asking uncomfortable questions.

Say you should not have other relationships if you have a relationship. And they are (husband there, or wife). So, says the brain, it would be necessary to leave the disgusted spouse (wife). After all, right? After all, right?

It is correct and true, but no one leaves a disgusted spouse (wife) for some reason. As they perfectly showed in the film "What else do men talk about": "You see, you have to wait a little bit ..."

And at this moment, the lovers begin to understand that their cloudless relationship two months ago is no longer so bright. Demands begin ("Get away from her!"), reproaches ("How long can this go on!?") And other charms of tension.

Communication on the side is quite burdensome and carries many disadvantages. Previously, all this was not visible, but here - like a veil fell from my eyes.

The duration of this stage is approximately three months.

5. Decay stage "I will call"

The stage comes only if the fourth stage is left without a solution. If lovers do not dare to change the status quo, their connection is slowly thinning. Fewer meetings, fewer calls, and less interest in each other.

If no one decides, if no one chooses to on drastic changes (leave her husband, divorce her wife), then the romance will die out by itself. And the last phrase will be "I will call." Of course, no one calls...
The duration of this stage is about four months.

Does it always happen that way? As the most categorical psychologist in the world, I would like to say yes, but scientific integrity stops me. It happens both this way and the other way. I just outlined some "average portraits," something like general trends.

Now about what to do with all this. As you can see, it turns out interesting - the options for action are highly dependent on the stage of the romance on the side.

Firstly, it turns out that if nothing is done, the romance on the side will end by itself (some are lucky and won't know anything at all).

Secondly, it turns out that it is useless to do anything in the second and third stages - all the same, the hormones knocked out the mind. Please do not reach out to him.

Thirdly, at the fourth stage, it is impossible to run into and demand to be determined. A person will find himself between two fires and go to where the fire is smaller.

Fourth, at the last, fifth stage, you can put pressure on it - most likely, it will end faster and in favor of marriage.

There are many answers, and which of them is correct - I need help deciding. Everything is very individual.

But I can say for sure - do not bring to change. The trouble from them is usually much more than the pleasure. It is better to solve the accumulated difficulties in a relationship with a partner and not find an outlet for yourself in the face of an outsider.