In principle, all the wealth of relationships can be reduced to a pair of "give-receive." So, if a relationship is needed to "give" as much as possible to a specific person, this is love, and if a connection for you is a way to "receive" more from him, then this is typical selfishness. Everything else is lyricism and demagogy.
And now, let's remember the most common phrases on the topic of falling in love: "I can't live without you," "I love you! and do you?", "I feel bad without you," etc. What do these phrases have in common? - the desire to GET "beloved" in full and unlimited use.
That is, the state of falling in love, so often and much sung, is, in fact, a manifestation of ordinary egoism. Suppose it has anything to do with love. In that case, it is in a very embryonic state (that, by the way, is why at the stage of falling in love, it is categorically not recommended to decide to create a family because the consequences of such a decision are predictable: the union of two egoists cannot be strong by definition).
Many people confuse self-love with selfishness. But these are exactly the opposite things.
An egoist is a person who lacks self-love so much that he pulls it from others with all his might.
He is mentally poor. Therefore he cannot give anything to another, and he is flawed because he does not provide anything to himself and does not know how to appreciate what he receives from others.
Unlike an egoist, a person who truly loves himself is spiritually rich and generous because he has a lot of love in his soul that he can share.
WHAT IS YOUR LOVE FOR YOURSELF?
As in relationships with others, it manifests itself in the desire to "give": warmth, support, faith in the best in yourself, help in all your endeavors, revealing your true nature, potential, praise, and encouragement in the form of Sock JOI, etc. It is not surprising that a person with such support within himself turns out to be strong and self-sufficient enough to give love to another sincerely https://footjungle.com/.
WHAT DOES EGOISM MANIFEST IN RESPECT OF YOURSELF?
As in relationships with others: in the desire (I would even say: even demanding from myself) to "get": compliance with some advertising (or parental) ideals, artificial ambitions, endless demands concerning oneself, in constant "sawing oneself," self-criticism, etc. It is clear that a person living with such a war within himself, on the one hand, does not have any spiritual strength to give love to another. On the other hand, for him, the love of another person is like a lifeline (although it is clear that no circle "from outside" cannot replace the inner circle and, therefore, can give only a temporary effect).
- love is the desire to "give."
- to have spiritual strength for genuine love for another, you must first "give" love to yourself.
Solution
The fact is that each of us lives a child (about five years old) in the soul of each of us. And he is absolutely the same as we were at that age. Therefore, for someone, he needs to be more consistent and undisciplined. For someone, he is crammed into a corner and feels lonely. For someone, he is a favorite of society. For someone, he demands more and more new toys, etc. (by the way, for example, very often in the eyes of aggressive people, I see intimidated, downtrodden and unloved children)
To feel what your inner child is like and what he feels: sort through the options and states, listen to yourself, and ask yourself: what is your inner child missing to think that you love him? What wishes does your inner child have for you? and how can you give them to him?
