Every year, 2.5 per 1,000 couples in the United States choose to go their separate ways by getting a divorce. And every year, it changes the lives of many young children in these previously united families. Divorce is a life-changing decision, not only for the couple but also for the family members.
Some children may blame it on their parents, while others may blame themselves. Separations and divorces are tumultuous and emotionally exhausting times for both parties. Although every child wants their parents to stay together forever, it does not always work out. So, it is better to let them be happy as individuals instead of seeing them argue constantly as a couple.
Let's talk about how crucial it is for children to adjust to these abrupt transitions in family dynamics by learning the impacts of divorce on children.
Impact of Divorce on Young Minds
It can be overwhelming to process such a massive change in your life, but it is also an opportunity to get out of conflicting and abusive environments. Understanding all this takes time and sometimes can affect a child severely if not given adequate attention. They can feel rejected and remorseful and may develop behavioral and cognitive problems, such as:
Adjustment Problems
How do you feel when you reach home after months of traveling far and wide into unknown cities? At peace, correct?
For a child, a happy family symbolizes this peace. But divorce can develop cracks in this ideal picture. Shifting to a new place or welcoming new members like step-siblings into their homes can be difficult, especially when children are unaccustomed to sharing spaces. Some take it as an opportunity to make new friends, while others struggle to adjust.
Separation Anxiety and Abandonment Issues
A child stuck between parents preparing for a divorce sometimes feels lost, abandoned, and unloved. Their reservations about their guardian's decision to part ways can shut them down emotionally; they may appear withdrawn and distant or too sentimental and cranky. In such a vulnerable state, parents must give consistent attention to their children, sit with them, explain why they made the difficult decision, and reassure them of their love for them.
Academic Difficulties
With so much going on in the house, focusing on school, studies, and extracurriculars can be challenging. The emotional stress, inconsistent routines, and instability are enough to result in poor educational outcomes at school. It is better to inform the teachers beforehand and ask them to pay close attention to your child's interactions and progress at school.
Social and Mental Health Issues
Telling a child that their parents are getting a divorce without proper closure or reason burdens them with things they are too young to understand.
Children are vulnerable and delicate, and handling this matter's sensitivity can be difficult. They will likely get depressed, anxious, or withdrawn from their friends and family. They might also have rifts with their school fellows or get bullied for their weak emotional state. Thus, seeking professional help and booking a counseling session for your child to help them through this tough time is recommended.
Divorce is not the end of the world nor a goodbye to happiness, but parents should reassure children from the start. They must know that cherishing the memories of when the family was together is far better than constant bickering, tension, and conflict. It may be a complex topic to start on your own; thankfully, Jill Ciccone Pike has released a wonderful children's book about adjusting to stepfamilies and new environments titled Our Blended Family—a story filled with vibrant illustrations and relatable characters to help your child learn the true meaning of family.
