Society often depicts perfectionism as an exemplar of success, leading many to believe that having command over every aspect of life is superior to inner fulfillment and progress. However, relentlessly pursuing this socially accepted standard stifles personal growth and leads to unexpected consequences.
Is Perfection The Ultimate Goal Or An Insidious Trap?
Becca Christensen learned the answer to this the hard way. Living the dream with a great job, a solid relationship, and a peaceful home, Becca always thought she had achieved the picture-perfect life at just 24.
But, she failed to notice the cracks forming underneath the surface. And suddenly, it all fell apart, turning her carefully constructed world into dust and debris. She was blindsided. How could she have missed the signs?
Becca reflects on her journey in her memoir, I Call Bullshit, making surprising revelations of how she coped through it all. The author thought if she made everyone happy and took control of her life, everything would turn out to be perfect. But that is rarely ever the case . In her life, perfection was not only unattainable but also damaging.
Here are some ways perfectionism can ruin your view of life:
High Expectations
Pursuing excellence and praise often leads people to set unrealistic expectations for themselves and often no boundaries with others. A seemingly motivational path turns into a source of exhaustion and hurt. As Becca Christensen relays through her story, constantly striving for flawlessness in every aspect of life was unsustainable. This constant feeling of inadequacy damages your self-esteem and causes burnout.
Fear Of Failure
One of the most devious effects of perfectionism is the paralyzing fear of failure. This panic can manifest in various ways, from procrastination to avoiding new challenges. Becca's life journey in I Call Bullshit illustrates how this fear blinds individuals from reality, causing them to overlook warning signs to maintain a perfect facade.
Ironically, this fear of failure also leads to missed opportunities for growth and learning. Avoiding situations where a person may not excel confines personal and professional growth. In essence, the very thing we fear - failure - becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as we avoid taking risks or stepping outside our comfort zones.
The Downward Spiral Of Depression
When the gap between our idealized perfect self and reality becomes too wide, it triggers a downward spiral into depression. As Becca's story shows, realizing that your carefully constructed "perfect" life is flawed can be devastating. The mental dissonance between our expectations and reality can lead to feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.
Moreover, the constant self-criticism that often accompanies perfectionism can also aggravate depressive symptoms. We become our own harshest critics, constantly berating ourselves for falling short of impossible standards. This negative self-talk can create a vicious cycle, further solidifying feelings of inadequacy and depression.
Breaking Free From The Perfection Trap
Recognizing the negative impact of chasing perfection is the first step towards breaking free from its grip. As you'll learn through Becca Christensen's story, embracing imperfection and uncertainty can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
What Can You Do?
Treat yourself with the kindness you would offer a friend and aim for progress, not perfection. Embrace your perceived failure as a learning opportunity rather than a sign of inadequacy. Challenge negative self-talk, and find joy in the journey, not just the destination.
As Becca's story in I Call Bullshit: Confronting Betrayals and Reclaiming My Self-Worth teaches, true fulfillment comes not from achieving an impossible ideal but from accepting ourselves - flaws and all - and consistently seeking peace and safety within.
Learn more about her story in her memoir, I Call Bullshit, now live on Amazon.
