“Introverts avoid small talk because we know it’s the white bread of conversation. There are no real nutrients in it, just empty calories.” – Michaela Chung, the Irresistible Introvert
Introverts could not have been described well than this. Even though there is a selection of topics to grab a tea over, only some of them pass an introvert's approval. In all seriousness, the reason why introverts are deeply occupied with their collection of thoughts and feelings is not that they detest human existence (although some introverts do), it's because that's just the way their personality is like. So, to keep it simple for your understanding, introverts are not angry at the world or upset with anyone. They are…just quiet.
Is it bad to be quiet? Some may think so because generally quiet people tend to radiate resentment and unfriendliness for some reason. This is another reason why many people hesitate to approach introverts – thinking they might bite off their limb or something along the lines of that.
But we here are not going to be delving into the matter of how awesome introverts are – that's a separate topic that needs to be written about with much care and undivided attention. We are speaking directly with the introverts reading this and we have one thing to say: Get talking!
However, we don't have any ill intent. It's just that sometimes, introverts become so introverted, that they end up completely detaching themselves from the world-leading them to become entirely unaware of their surroundings and excluding them totally from social gatherings and daily conversations.
And although we love introverts to the core (being an introvert myself), it’s always good, and healthy even, to strike a balance in life.
So if you are an introvert finding it difficult to communicate with people to the point in which you rather say hello to a cat, you are in for some luck. Here are the 5 tips we have conjured up for the struggling introvert:
- Be The Brave, Courageous Person You Were Meant To Be
Excuse the melodramatics – but it’s true. Introverts shy away from making eye contact let alone muster up the courage to enter a conversation with a stranger. We are here to tell you to do the opposite, even if it may be uncomfortable at the start. And with keeping the slogan of Nike, just do it. A phobia commonly found in introverts is their fear of rejection, dislike, and judgment. Too often, introverts spend so much time contemplating how the other person will perceive them, that they often lose the confidence to approach people for a friendly chit-chat.
What will they think of me? What if I sound stupid? They are looking at me, is something wrong with my hair? Or it is my shoes? These are the thoughts of many introverted personalities – but on a positive note, we are determined in shutting these insecure thoughts down for once and for all.
Speaking up, even if it be a simple ‘hello', can do wonders to your confidence. Passing a simple hello can open the doors for a more fruitful conversation and make each other's company enjoyable.
- Explore Your Curiosity
Don’t let your shyness from getting you on top of the latest news and topics. Curious as to what bag that posh lady on the subway is carrying? Eyeing on your co-worker’s lunch meal but can’t figure out what it is? Regardless of what the situation you are in, if you find yourself itching to know something, just ask!
Categorically speaking, it has been proven by research that people who ask more questions are more enjoyed by their fellow conversation partner as compared to those who don’t. With asking questions, you are essentially opening the doors for more conversations to take place and keep the wheels of the conversation moving.
- Go Freestyle
While the idea of going up to a stranger and verbalizing the script you probably rehearsed in your head a thousand times is daunting, you want to aim for a freestyle approach. This means, skip the mundane questions that practically ask such as ‘what do you do?’, ‘where do you reside?’ or ‘where are you from?’
You want to dive straight in to more meaningful, engaging topics and practice the habit of starting your conversations with statements rather than mainstream questions. Something like ‘I am enjoying this song by artist X these days', or to spark an electrifying interest with your conversation partner, talk about what almost everyone loves: food!
Starting conversations with statements is a gateway to learning more about your curiosities as well as the other person's. They pave the way for more meaningful conversations which often lead people to reveal their true selves to others. You never know, implementing this tip may gain you a dear friend!
- Pass A Compliment
Compliments always give you a good feeling, whether you are the one receiving them or giving them, they bring a smile on your face either way. Because introverts are so absorbed in their musings and thoughts, we recommend they practice the habit of passing compliments to others for a change.
Passing compliments shifts an individual's focus from their thoughts and divert their focus towards the other person. By doing so, introverts get enough time to devise their next step of keeping the conversation afloat.
- A Flair For Eloquent Speaking
Based on sound research and evidence, the more you engage in conversations, the better you get in carrying out dialogues. Introverts who plan to kick up their speaking skills a notch will find this tip beneficial in the long term. They will get more skilled at asking better questions and along with that, get even better at responding to questions with more interesting replies.
To have this skill under their belt is as weighty of an accomplishment as reaching any other kind of milestone and therefore, it is to be celebrated. Why? Because many people (especially extroverts), don’t realize just how big of a deal it really is for introverts to get their mouth moving in conversations. They fear rejection and the possibility of not being appreciated or liked – and so for that reason, they rather not talk, which then leads them to social exclusion.
But once you do communicate with others, you will notice a great deal of a difference in your personality. A surge of confidence will begin to flow through your veins and make you confident enough to speak at any large social gathering. To cut it short, introverts can become one of the best public speakers. Take Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, for example, who spoke at the well-renowned public platform, TED Talk.
