The first family was of course Adam and Eve placed together by God and by God’s design, under his authority and guided by his instruction. Make no mistake when Satan deceived Adam and Eve it was an attack, not just on them as individuals, but on them as a family. From the very beginning God’s plan and purpose for man, woman and child to be a family has been under attack and a prime target of Satan. If Satan can weaken the family then all social and human institutions of civilization are weakened. If Satan can destroy the family then human society and civilization will be destroyed.
We look back at the Garden of Eden and wonder that anyone could so easily be deceived after God had told them the consequences of their actions. Yet today Satan still whispers lies and the children of Adam and Eve are still being deceived by those lies rather than believe what God has plainly told them. Lies about what is a family, Lies about what is real love, Lies about divorce and marriage. Lies about the roles of husband and wife.
You can see the importance Paul places on the family by including it in this book on the church and its relationship with Christ. Without the family the church changes into something it was never meant to be. Without the family as the Bible defines it, the church has no hope for its own future.
Without the family as God designed it, communities turn into war zones. Without the family as Jesus describes it, countries lose all adhesion and soon are no longer nations. Satan has always known this and has attacked the family with the determination of one who hates God and all that God has ever created.
Let me remind you of some of the Lies of Satan that deal with our Culture, Career and Cash
Lie: Your career is more important than your home or your family.
Lie: You can’t find fulfillment as a woman, if you stay at home to raise your family.
Lie: Children in daycare are just as well off as children raised at home.
Lie: In order to be happy a family must have two incomes; one will not be enough.
Here are the Truths that God’s word teaches us about the family:
Truth: Your family is your highest priority on earth next to your relationship with God.
Truth: Fulfillment and self-esteem doesn’t come from anything outside of God’s plan and purpose for you as His child. For the vast majority of us a family, is part of that plan.
Truth: Children raised by a mother at home are better socially adjusted, have more stable self-esteem, a greater appreciation of family and a better chance of a strong family of their own.
When it comes to marriage and divorce Satan and his co-workers, be they demons or researchers continue their lies. They will tell you that if marriage doesn’t work out then throw it away. Start over with someone else, everyone will be happier.
And yet real research tells the truth, which God’s word has been teaching for centuries.
Conducted by a team of leading family scholars headed by University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite, the study analyzed the relationships between marriage, divorce and happiness. The research team used data collected by the National Survey of Family and Households that had interviewed 5,232 married adults in the late 1980s. Total reported unhappy marriages: 645. Five years later, 167 had divorced or separated, and 478 had remained married.
The research shows that unhappily married adults who had divorced were no happier than those who had stayed married. The 13 measures of well being include self-esteem, personal mastery, depression, purpose in life and alcohol drinks per day.
"Divorce leads to many ills including poverty, depression, poor health and a greater likelihood of suicide," said Bridget Maher, a policy analyst on marriage and family at the Family Research Council. "Divorced men have higher rates of mental illness and death due to accidents and suicide than married men. Also, divorced fathers who do not live with their children are more likely to engage in behaviors that compromise their health. A study of children's home environments found that divorced mothers are less able to provide the same level of emotional support to their children than married mothers."
The research also shows that the unhappiest marriages had encountered the most dramatic turnarounds when spouses addressed problems together, individual partners found ways to improve their own lives, or time simply passed. In each situation, commitment served as the underlying foundation for a lasting and often happy marriage.
There are even more lies, one of them being that it is better for to get a divorce than to have children see their parents fight all the time. Children are strong and resilient they say. They will rebound from the divorce in no time.
The truth is that children of divorce continue to suffer trauma and a sense of loss throughout their lifetime.
Psychologist Judith Wallerstein followed a group of children of divorce from the 70’s into the 90’s. She expected to find that kids bounce back from divorce, interviewing them 18 months, 5, 10, 15, and 25 years after the divorce. What she found was amazing; Twenty-five years after the divorce, these children continued to experience substantial expectation of failure, fear of loss, fear of change and fear of conflict.
Children who experienced their parents’ divorce also viewed premarital sex and cohabitation more favorably.
It is a lie that second marriages are better than first marriages. In reality, the rate for divorce for second marriages is actually higher than for first. If the problems of the couple, that doomed the first marriage, are not addressed it will doom the second, third and fourth.
It is also a lie that staying in an unhappy marriage means it will only get worst. Honest research shows what many of us old married folks know, that those who stay committed to marriage, even when they felt it was not working out, in time found the marriage had worked our just fine and become a happy one. Marriages have cycles of good and bad times. Those who hold on through the bad times will find a stronger, fulfilling marriage on the other side of the tough times.
