I will post this and see what comes of it.
I have been abused by church and church people my entire life. My life was not easy and the church had many opportunities to minister and yet even when it was clear and obvious that I needed help; none come to assist. The majority did not even notice. When I left the building I did not exist. The most obvious was when my wife of 25 years died. Not one mention of it at the church. I even got a 'Happy Anniversary' card 24 days after her death. This was what I was offered as support and caring in the church I attending twice a week for 10 years.
I was blessed with answered pray for a new wife and God is moving me to a new home in another state. I started attending a church there and again, I do not exist if I am not in the building. This went on for 2 years and I just got feed up with it and left for another church.
Now this other church seems inviting enough; but I get very distraught and agitated at the thought of trusting any of them again. God continues to be patient with me and encourage me to work with believers. But I have only mentioned 2 instances of over 20 times that churches have gone out of their way to ignore me and neglect me to death. I am very learry of further interactions and this is causing a deep depression after every sunday service.
I am not really looking for sympathy, but perhaps prayer that I can attempt to trust believers again. I truly do not want to put my self in a state of hope and trust just to have it crushed when I am in need.