John 11:35 NIV
35 Jesus wept.
Sacred Lessons Only Grief Can Teach You
Katie T. Kennedy
Grief is a complicated subject. On one hand, it's simple and easy to understand because we all experience loss. Yet, on the other hand, it’s extraordinarily complicated because grief manifests differently in all of us and our losses are unique.
When I sat down to write this article, I thought it would flow easily out of me because I have experienced quite a bit of grief in my life and spent hours in counseling processing loss. I thought putting down all the lessons grief can teach us would be straightforward.
What I realized is that everyone’s grief journey is very personal. What I observed from a loss might be the opposite of what you are feeling. When it comes to feelings of grief, so many emotions can arise.
We can also grieve over things other than death, as we learned this past year. We feel the loss from canceled trips and activities, our normal routines, changes in a job, a family we can’t see, illness, etc. The feelings associated with all the scenarios mentioned might be similar, yet each one can teach us something different and recovery times may vary.
I struggled to find a commonality between all the different scenarios because I didn’t want to discount anyone’s loss. Grief doesn’t have one size that fits all approaches to healing, nor will we all learn the same thing. Our stories and makeup are unique, and God is working in us differently, healing our individual wounds.
I’m not a counselor or an expert on grief. What I know about the subject I learned the hard way; through my own loss, visiting a counselor, reading books on the matter, and seeing what the Bible said about grief.
All that said, I believe there are a few lessons that only grief can teach us. Sometimes we can only see them when we’ve come out the other side. When you are in the valley of grief, it’s hard to see the silver lining.
Grief Teaches Us How to Relate
Encountering our own suffering helps equip us to empathize better with others.
God can use the pain we endure to help others. We can identify with them, support them, relate to them, and assist them through tough times. We might not have the perfect words, because honestly, there are no perfect words when you have just buried a loved one.
We can share authentic compassion in whatever way that might look like. It might be listening to them as they talk through their current feelings or sharing stories of their lost loved ones. Maybe you love them by bringing them a meal and letting them know you are thinking of them. It could also mean sharing a loss of your own, if appropriate, so they know you understand where they are. You can provide hope that they too will get through this.
I lost my mom to suicide when I was twenty. When I encounter people today that have also lost their mom, we immediately have a common bond. They completely understand the significance of that loss in my life, and I understand theirs.
It’s actually quite amazing how being vulnerable can quickly put you on the same page as someone.
You never know how God will use your story, and your loss in a way to help others. Even today as people grieve death, jobs, and multiple changes, you can sympathize that yes, their feelings are real, and you understand their loss. It makes people feel heard.
Grief provides an opportunity for people to connect in a unique way.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for the beautiful story of Lazarus and the many lessons I can learn from this amazing passage of Scripture. Thank You that sickness, sin, death, and hell, which is the inevitable result of all who fall short of Your glory, has been conquered forever through the death, burial, and Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ on our behalf. Thank You that just as Mary and Martha’s period of misery was turned into laughter and joy, so my night of weeping has also been turned into a morning of joy with peals of singing, through faith in Christ my Redeemer. Thank You that because He lives, I too shall live. May I sing forth Your praise and glory in the eternal ages to come. In Jesus' name, I pray, AMEN.
